Jane Doe "Coach L"

My over all impression with Coach L. is not that impressive. It starts out o.k. by trying to create the vision of a big intimidating coach. But six foot three is not that tall so I would have switched the first sentence with the second one. I felt more drawn in with the specificity of the second sentence rather than just numbers like in the first. The only thing is if you use a specific event to draw us in you need to refer back to it later in the essay and Jane Doe didn't do that so it leaves me hanging not knowing what I expected to know by the end. Also you need to be consistent in how you refer to your subject. Is it Coach L, Coach Libenguth or just Coach you need to choose one and refer to it through out the entire essay.
I feel there is too much back ground and not enough info about the coach and her love and skill for basketball. I want to know about one of the times she played in an All-State basketball game and what it was like, I need details to keep me interested. Explain things that are specific to basketball like what does it mean to be "red shirted" I have no idea, never heard of such a thing. Also more details, how did she get into the UofM Hall of Fame? I mean that is impressive I want to know more about that and how she feels about it. One way that helps with that is more quotes I never felt like she was telling me anything, it was always you telling me with a quote saying almost the same thing you just said. I need to hear the voice of the coach more and less of yours.
The beginning and end of the essay is not connected at all. I never find out what scared the daylights out of you that one day at lunch. Over all it was just a brief outline of facts and events of Coach L. there was no major point that got reiterated through out the essay.
Justin